A Taxonomy of Family Court Judges

Divorce Magazine offers a description of the various “judge types” who may sit on your family law case. While I have some disagreements with some of the descriptions, and some of them are a bit redundant, there are more than a few grains of truth in the piece. I have run into most of the specimens described ( and agree, too, that most judges combine a variety of these traits):

The Judge

In the continuation of a six-part series of excerpts from the book, Divorce: It’s All About Control—How to Win the Emotional, Psychological and Legal Wars by certified family law specialist, Stacy D. Phillips, she discusses the different “types” that tend to control a divorcee’s divorce process in the courtroom. In this segment, Ms. Phillips details the characteristics of the “judge variety”—those individuals who often assert authority taking complete control of a couple’s divorce, leaving them at the mercy of the courts.

The “Heard-It-Alls”	This category of judge has little patience for the daily routine that goes on in the courtroom, between counsel, or for that matter, the parties, and refuses to grant continuances for “frivolous” reasons. Heard-It-Alls become easily fed up with standard excuses and can see past every histrionic ploy. Don’t try to pull anything over on a Heard-It-All because they already have heard it all! This moniker suggests a negative connotation. However, the label can equally apply to a very experienced, no-nonsense, truly fine judicial officer who, indeed, does know it all.
The “Peacemakers”	Contrary to the Heard-It-Alls, the Peacemaker is the type of courtroom boss who attempts to get the parties to come to terms and may even suggest the case be continued until additional settlement discussions can take place. The Peacemakers are known for being big on child rights. They also tend to be more sensitive to the perils only divorce can bring. As such, they try to minimize the trauma of the courtroom experience on the parties who come before them.
The “Technocrats”	This group tends to care less about the “people” side of the hearing and rules by the book. They typically have no “heart” and could care less about the parties personally. The way the Technocrat sees it, they have one duty and one alone: to uphold the statutes under which the marital laws fall. Do not try the emotional plea or pray to the Technocrat for mercy. A Technocrat will rule right over you!
The “Equalizers”	This group always wants to do what is fair and usually come from a “one for her, one for him” point of view. They have a “split down the center” mentality. As such, they are calmly focused on dividing everything equally—that includes responsibility for the children, assets and liabilities! Their focus is on equality, whether it means ordering each party to pay his and her fair share of attorneys’ fees or picking up responsibility with regard to the children. Though equitable, this judge does not have any patience for antics, so save any outbursts for the hallways.
The “Solomons”	Often times they are not focused on what might please the parties or what will cause the least amount of havoc. The Solomons are simply trying to get to the bottom line—or at least what they perceive is the right result. Like King Solomon who knew that the real mother would not allow him to “split the baby,” the Solomonesque judge will work with the parties to achieve the right moral result. This approach is particularly important in child custody disputes.
The “Hammers”	Highly respected for their familiarity with all the family law statutes—new and old—the Hammers will strictly enforce each code. Low on patience, they are high on authority and not afraid to wield it. The Hammer often reaches a conclusion on the merits, i.e., decides the outcome he/she wants and then strives to reach that result through rulings and/or pressure on the parties. Hammers are particularly dangerous if they are not well versed in the facts or the relevant legal issues. You never want to get on the bad side of Hammers because they can pound you right into the courtroom floor. Good for you if the Hammer rules in your favor, but it could go the other way next time!
The ‘Judge’s Judge”	combines the best traits and skills of each of the judges described above and is thoroughly well versed in all aspects of the law and is not afraid to make the tough call or lean hard on the parties when necessary. This judge does not mind hardball, but insists on fair ball. They can be Solomonesque when appropriate, or address issues with diplomacy. A Judge’s Judge takes each case individually and listens to all the facts before making a decision. These judges are typically compassionate types who make both parties feel as though they were well heard and their requests considered.
The “Lazy Judge”	combines the worst traits of the various judges described above (except, of course, the Judge’s Judge). This is the judge who doesn’t read the papers and simply goes through the motions of performing his/her judicial duties. The Lazy Judge may fall back on hyper technicalities, “split the baby,” or do anything else necessary to get the matter off his/her docket. With the other judges—for better or for worse—you can plan. With the Lazy Judge, the outcome is truly unpredictable.

Your judge can be a mixture of some or all of the above. As you go before them, know that they can have tremendous control over your marital circumstances. This can bode well for you or it can be difficult, depending on how the court’s rulings come down, and it can affect you for years to come!

Source for post: Divorce Magazine

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More on Alec’s Tua Culpa

The New York Times today more or less panned Alec Baldwin’s appearance on the soon to be Rosie-less “The View,” during which he offered a fairly self serving explanation for his outburst against his daughter, and attacked the family law system. I am inclined to agree that Baldwin did not do himself any favors with his appearance. But on one point I will agree with him – that is that fathers are, on the average, not treated very well in the family law system. Fact is, no one really is. But I think that Baldwin is more right than not that fathers generally are treated poorly. If only they had a better spokesman than Alec.

When Spouses Use Their Children as a Battleground

All too often, divorcing and divorced spouses use their children as a means to wage their battle against one another. As alleged movie star Alec Baldwin found out recently, using your child as yet another weapon in your war against your ex-spouse not only does incalculable harm to the child, but also makes you look like an ass, and will ultimately have adverse legal consequences, too. baldwin may have hisvisitation rights suspended He says he was driven over the edge by a manipulative ex. Maybe he’s right. But there is never any excuse for verbally abusing your child. For the record, I think that Baldwin made a horrible mistake in judgment. That doesn’t necessarily make him a bad person, and it doesn’t mean he’s a bad father. Let’s hope that he, and we, learn a valuable lesson.

Guest Post: Why National Step family Day?

Christy Borgeld, the founder of National Stepfamily Day, has sent in this guest post duscussing the origins of National Stepfamily Day. Christy is doing great work, and I encourage everyoine to check out her website at Nationalstepfamilyday.com:

Why Stepfamily Day
By Christy Borgeld

When I married my husband Jim, 15 years ago, our new family included 6 children from previous marriages and relationships. Having a child together turned our family into a not-so Brady Bunch. Our problems didn’t get solved in 30 minutes and there’s no housekeeper to help out.

Behind my light-heartedness is a concern for stepfamilies everywhere. These unique family units are often a mishmash of grandparents, aunts, uncles, ex-spouses, and children who must learn to deal with stepmothers and stepfathers. Problems such as stepsibling rivalries and their consequential self-esteem, setting new rules and boundaries, and ex-spousal feuds are just a few aspect that strain most stepfamilies.

My mission began. My only involvement with the government was to vote. I had no idea how to get a day proclaimed. I did research on Anna Jarvis, who was the founder of Mother’s Day. I read about her campaign and her passion to have Mother’s Day proclaimed. I contacted my state governor’s office and started asking questions. I soon learned that to get a day proclaimed I had to have each state governor to proclaim the day or a state senator or state representative to have a resolution passed. So I picked a date, wrote up language for the Stepfamily Day proclamation, and went to work.

This year marks Stepfamily Day’s 10th Anniversary. Today Stepfamily Day is celebrated by having a Stepfamily Day picnic. Cities throughout all 50 states celebrate Stepfamily Day with a family picnic.

As the stepmother and stepfather become central figures in the lives of our children, in a time that is very confusing for them, let us remember the positive and important role we play in their lives as role models. I hope Stepfamily Day will encourage and educate these families. To honor those who have made a commitment to creating new family bonds.

Christy Borgeld Founder-National Stepfamily Day-September 16
EST. 1997
http://www.nationalstepfamilyday.com
contact@nationalstepfamilyday.com

National Stepfamily Resource Center
(NSRC) is a division of Auburn University’s Center for Children, Youth, and Families
Stepfamily Expert Council
http://www.stepfamilies.info

Jury Refuses to Grant Divorce to NY Couple

This story from New York is both interesting and rather bizarre. Sort of reminiscent of one of my favorite movies, “The War of the Roses”:

Jury Says Feuding N.Y. Couple Cannot Divorce

By THE ASSOCIATED PRESS; Published: March 29, 2007

NEW YORK (AP) — Feuding spouses who built a wall through their three-story row house because neither would give it up cannot divorce, a jury ruled. Jurors on Wednesday shot down the ”cruel and inhuman treatment” Chana Taub cites as grounds for divorcing Simon Taub after more than 20 years of marriage and four children.

”I’m dismissing the whole case. That’s it,” Justice Carolyn Demarest said. To revive the case, Chana Taub would have to file it again, on new grounds. ”I was in total shock,” Chana Taub told the Daily News. ”It’s unbelievable.”

The husband’s lawyer, Abe Konstam, called the case an extraordinary waste and said the trial wouldn’t have been necessary if New York changed its divorce laws. The state doesn’t allow the speedy dissolution of a marriage without proof that one spouse is somehow at fault.

The case is one of the strangest divorces New York has seen, mainly because of the wall.

A judge ordered the couple to put it up because neither wanted to move out. She got the top floor and the kitchen on the second floor; he got the living room on the first floor and the dining room on the second floor. The door between the dining room and the kitchen was barricaded on both sides. The case has been dubbed Brooklyn’s ”War of the Roses,” after the 1989 movie starring Michael Douglas and Kathleen Turner as a fueding couple.

Chana says that for two decades she served Simon like a virtual slave, putting up with physical and mental abuse. Simon denies ever laying a hand on his wife and says he gave her a luxurious lifestyle. He says she wants the divorce to squeeze what money he has left. His sweater manufacturing company went bankrupt in the late 1990s, and he suffered a second heart attack in 2005 that worsened their financial problems, he says.

The Long Term Health Effects of Divorce

Health News Digest reports that there may be health and financial costs to divorce that do not reveal themselves until long after the divorce is complete.

It is widely known that because of the economies of scale, many families going through a divorce and those with children, in particular, will face some diminution in their standard of living after the divorce. The reason, the income that used to support a single home when the marriage was intact, must now support two households. The same income must now pay two rents or mortgages, stock two refrigerators, pay two cable bills and the list goes on. There may not be enough resources to pay for all the things that intact family took for granted.

However, the article is interesting because it goes beyond the obvious costs and shows some of the hidden costs of divorce.

To this must be added duplicate items for the children: when the bicycle goes to one house, a second one will have to be purchased for the other house because neither parent will want to be seen as less generous and caring than the other, and this is true for all items, essential and non-essential alike; clothing, beds, towels, doll houses, video games, school supplies, and so on, plus the time and money required to replace, repair and upgrade these items. Certain expenses, such as daycare costs and doctor visits, may be divided more or less equally (assuming both parents are willing and able to pay, which is oftentimes not the case), but for daily living expenses, a safe rule of thumb might be to count the number of kids you have and multiply by two—then add the costs of a second home.

And if, for example, the parents live an hour apart and transfer their children back and forth thrice weekly, that adds up to another thirty hours of driving time per month, plus gas, and related expenses, not counting delays, schedule changes, forgotten items, extra pick-ups and drop-offs, and extracurricular activities that were previously managed through some sort of division of labor, but must now be done separately. In varying degrees, this holds true for most other household activities—efficiency is lost when spouses must function without the support of each other—and as the old saying goes, time is money.

This change in our financial picture, however, does not stop at the home front, but reaches into the workplace as well: the U.S. government reports that half of all single mothers receive public assistance, while divorced men earn between 10% and 40% less than their married counterparts having similar educations and backgrounds. It should come as no surprise then that at the age of retirement, divorced couples have a significantly lower net worth than those who remained married. After divorce, the yellow brick road quickly loses its luster, and life is rarely easier.

Of course, here we’re just talking about money matters, and as we all know, divorce involves a lot more than financial losses. Divorcés also experience significantly higher numbers of early death of almost all the major diseases, as well as higher rates of in and out-patient psychiatric care, suicide, physical abuse, accidental injury, and drug and alcohol use. But those are other issues. Here we’re focusing only on dollars and cents. One hurdle at a time.

In summary, although divorce leaves us in a highly emotional state, we should be careful not to let those emotions rule our thinking, particularly those that blind and bind us to the grim consequences of such decisions. Before making that call to an attorney, or presenting your spouse with your decision to leave, make sure that you’ve taken the time to ask yourself if divorce is really worth the financial price you will pay. If it is, then fine, you can move on to the other matters mentioned above. But do you homework first—and make sure that your pencil is sharp.

Source for post: New York Divorce Report

Keeping the Noncustodial Parent Involved in Your Child’s Life

Studies have shown that maintaining a significant role for a noncustodial parent in a child’s life has important benefits for the child, his or her relationship with the noncustodial parent, and even for the custodial parent. Divorce Magazine has published a lengthy article on this subject. read the article in its entirety below the fold:

At What Age Can Children Be Left Alone?

All parents at some point face the difficult question of whether their children are old enough to be left alone at home. Dustin Jones of All Things Pennsylvania Family Law had this interesting post on this question:

A reader stumped me last week with the following question: “At what age can children be legally left alone to care for themselves?”

Since this site deals with family law issues, I assume his question is related to custody issues and/or Children Protective Services.

Here is the answer:

There are no laws or regulations in Pennsylvania stating at what age children may be left without adult supervision. When workers from the Allegheny County Office of Children, Youth and Families check into reported cases — about 20 a month, with roughly a third of those substantiated — their main concern is the degree of risk to the children.

How long they’re left alone, whether they’re able to care for themselves and handle emergencies, if they have support nearby — all these factors play into the CYF assessment. If the children are determined to be in peril, intervention could range from assisting the family to removing the children.

“As a rule of thumb, no child under the age of 12 should be left home alone under any circumstances,” said Marcia Sturdivant, deputy director of CYF. But, she conceded, the world we live in doesn’t always work that way.

Source for post: All Things Pennsylvania Family Law